My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 607 - Newbie Dash

Rating:

So apparently pilot training/flight school is actually like this, where everyone’s first day goes terribly, too many new recruits just want to show off, and you absolutely will get stuck with a terrible call name.  While such trivia proves interesting, seeing these events in action does not.  Dave Rapp’s first script freely retcons or contrives whatever he needs to hurt and embarrass the usual mane six member.  Doing so was unfortunately typical of season two, so Newbie Dash marked one more step backwards.  Some effort was made to justify Twilight becoming a princess or the Crusaders earning their marks before, but we don’t have time for that so fuck it.  Rainbow Dash is a Wonderbolt now, because some guy we’ve never seen before totally “retired”.  Training for their upcoming show goes terribly though, especially when everyone starts calling her Rainbow Crash again.  When not using this premise to dump trash on Dash or otherwise inflict bodily harm, Rapp populates his script with questionable sequences which have little point but killing time (Dash imitates her five friends and Pinkie Pie wants bigger cotton candy).    He also has Dash walk across the runway (while we watch another Wonderbolt fly over it), so that she can almost get hit and fall into a conveniently placed trash can.  Good luck trying to find Dash walking anywhere else when she’s not injured.  Even though Rapp gives Pinkie one decent line (“at least they didn’t call you Rainbow Trash”), Newbie Dash feels too painful for a passing grade.  It never feels like an actual episode, going from needless slapstick comedy to a final lesson of being “okay with fitting in”.  What theoretically should have been Dash’s huge celebration ends up being more character regression.  Every complaint I’ve made before fits Newbie Dash, since it isn’t remotely acceptable for a series this far into production.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 620 - Viva Las Pegasus

 Rating:

Viva Las Pegasus might be more filler, but at least it’s enjoyable and does something.  The Map sends Applejack and Fluttershy to Vegas…and they’re pissed.  Despite not partaking in any festivities (just as well for a children’s show), they were the right ones sent.  With gambling also wisely ignored, Pegasus concentrates on backstage issues regarding several performing shows, with an interesting twist.  Kevin Burke and Chris “Doc” [why]at’s script admittedly has problems, but also a story which develops and reveals as it goes along.  And they discuss how friendship, always an instrument of good in My Little Pony, can be used for evil.  Much of what happens is delightful, including appearances by Siegfried and Roy, “big old” Elvis (as the main baddie), and two familiar swindling brothers whose surprising argument may or may not be why Fluttershy and Applejack are there.  Burke and Wyatt have some dialogue problems (more clichés and Elvis stand-in Gladmane doing too many “uh-huh-huh”s), didn’t name several important backstage characters (two of whom are referred to multiple times as “director” and “star”), and offer an uninspired resolution that seems less likely to have worked than the original plan.  But their script is also well-structured and watchable, which can’t be said for most season six efforts.  Pegasus isn’t great, but Burke and Wyatt explored an issue which most people probably didn’t even consider existing.  Not that questioning everyone’s sincerity was necessary for Ponyville, but it’s a valid concern given how Gladmane manipulates friendship for his personal gain.  “Watchable” shouldn’t really be the bar episodes are judged on, but Pegasus doesn’t drag or contain wasted moments (such as montage filler songs) like previously aired outings do.  Perhaps Pegasus would have barely been a footnote in other seasons, but it rates among season six’s best outings despite the flaws.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 617 - Dungeons & Discords

Rating:

What was the point of this episode again?  Discord joins in on Spike and Big Mac’s Dungeons & Dragons game (retitled Ogres & Oubliettes after the comics.  Oh wow, that’s awesome! 10/10!), and they make some references to The Mask and that one Star Trek: TNG episode where Riker becomes a Q.  Does any of this somehow turn into a good outing?  Most fans think so, but again they must have watched a different show.  Discord does his annoying loser antics, which are no better than his similar behavior from season five.  Then the “big reveal” has Spike only inviting Discord because he felt sorry for him, despite the teaser making perfectly clear that Discord participates because Fluttershy is busy elsewhere.  Or the reviews go on about how much development Discord received.  But what did he learn exactly?  Find creatures who feel sorry for you and take advantage of them?  Because you know he’s not going to change at all after this.  And what did this episode say about Dungeons & Dragons?  That it’s super boring and would be much better in a real life video game setting?  The whole point of Dungeons & Dragons is that you’re basically participating in an epic fantasy novel, which Dungeons & Discords just shits all over.  Nick Confalone’s script has severe pacing problems when it’s not being incredibly boring.  Getting to playing this silly game takes forever, and then there’s barely enough time left for learning about the story.  Confalone also unnecessarily brings back gender issues, which mostly stem from repeatedly referring to their gathering as “guys’ night”.  Remember that one episode where Big Mac was a princess?  Yeah, fuck that.  He’s a man’s man.  And guess who’s the first mane six member to join in later?  When an episode creates two separate stories (the mane six travel with Celestia to visit Yakyakistan), we shouldn’t be stuck seeing the more boring of them.  And yet we do, since Confalone’s script does nothing right.  Discord’s antics still aren’t funny, and he only “succeeds” in making Dungeons & Dragons look like the geeky snooze-fest everyone imagines it is.  Maybe just mentioning the game is enough for any fan to award a high rating, but Confalone’s take ends up being more trash for season six’s landfill.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 610 - Applejack's "Day" Off

Rating:

Well, they tried I guess.  Those Foxes and season five’s worst new writer (Neal Dusedau, ugh) attempted showing a solid lesson, but no one involved had enough talent to pull it off.  Applejack is badly overworked and needs some rest, although this soon mutates into a discourse on workplace efficiency.  Granted some validity exists regarding getting stuck in a routine, but why did they think these events would be an effective demonstration of that?  Like other season six efforts, Applejack’s “Day” Off (couldn’t even get the title right) suffers from feeling like it takes place in an alternate universe.  Suddenly every spa employee has an Eastern European accent and Rainbow Dash really loves her “pampered massages”.  Likewise, the teaser only exists to make a bad sight gag about Rarity looking pruny, because she forgets about it once the episode proper starts.  “Day” Off feels pretty dull when it’s not doing uncomfortable things like this, so the philosophers can argue about which is better.  Their incompetency also trickled down to the animators, who couldn’t produce anything of interest visually either.  Despite admirable intentions, what “Day” Off needed was beyond everyone’s abilities.  They decided proving Rainbow Dash fits within a gender binary was more important than making sure their script made any sense.  Considering some point clearly existed, “Day” Off might not necessarily be filler.  And given Rarity and Applejack’s horrid history together (Look Before You Sleep), seeing them get along as friends does seem refreshing.  Unfortunately, there was no overcoming such poor writing for a “slice of life” episode where almost nothing happens.  Among many other season six examples, Applejack’s “Day” Off is a B effort which could have been made years earlier without many changes, and therefore remains very far away from acceptable quality.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 618 - Buckball Season

Rating:

In yet another filler episode, Buckball Season details preparations for a meaningless game of some previously non-existing sport.  Unlike Dungeons & Discords though, new writer Jennifer Skelly finds a decent moral and point for her script.  Skelly’s characters demonstrate surprising awareness and an ability to solve problems before completely losing control (probably unique among “moral” episodes).  Unfortunately, other issues (besides the episode being completely unnecessary) contribute to another sub-par offering.  For instance, Twilight and Rarity are not only completely missing, but forgotten like they never existed.  Many earlier episodes cut one or more voice actors because of financial reasons, but this particular oversight looks extremely glaring when the plot involves finding a unicorn.  Rarity probably wouldn’t have joined the team, but nobody mentions her?  Twilight participated in that stupid leaf race during Fall Weather Friends and also needlessly teleports everywhere, so maybe she could handle holding a basket?  Instead, we’re supposed to believe that Snails is some sort of magic god and Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie are better at buckball (without practicing) than their two friends.  These may not be false though, since we’ve never seen Snails outside his idiot fest with Snips and Pinkie Pie is very evidently not bound by physical laws.  Fluttershy did have trouble flying during Hurricane Fluttershy, but she also caught Rainbow Dash (traveling at full speed) while pulling a hot air balloon full of ponies (The Return Of Harmony), and was once described as “the greatest flyer ever to come out of Cloudsdale” (The Cutie Mark Chronicles).  Clearly her true athletic talents are underrated and hampered by self-doubt.  Even so, believing these three could beat Ponyville and Appleloosa’s best players remains difficult.  That isn’t necessarily fatal, since it helps Skelly demonstrate how not everyone feasts on pressure-filled situations.  And unlike The Cart Before The Ponies, she paced her script well so time existed for the final game to finish.  Of course, this might only occur because her paper-thin plot barely has enough for 22 minutes.  While its omissions are curious, Buckball Season feels pleasant enough despite the low rating and how it seems to come from five years earlier.  The episode isn’t among season six’s worst, but still lacks enough substance to refrain from being notable as well.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 520 - Hearthbreakers

Rating:

Hearthbreakers should have been a great episode.  The Apples are inexplicably invited to spend Hearth’s Warming Eve with Pinkie Pie’s family (apparently because of the tenuous and likely nonexistent connection explored in Pinkie Apple Pie), and we finally meet her sisters and parents.  There are still many fine moments (which will be enough for most people), but the episode is so poorly written by Nick Confalone that I can’t justify any higher rating.  Between the Pie family’s questionable characterization, Pinkie and Applejack speaking extended sentences in unison (…twice), average at best dialogue (why do Pinkie and her sisters call each other by their full names?), and a very obvious second act conflict, Hearthbreakers was severely hindered by its writing.  Not helping matters is the show counting as a sequel to Hearth’s Warming Eve (by fellow terrible writer Merriwether Williams), and Confalone wastes time summarizing this earlier effort when it’s otherwise completely irrelevant.  Realizing that every family celebrates the holidays slightly differently almost counts as thoughtful, but all of these traditions were invented just for the episode and aren’t mentioned elsewhere.  Because of this, an artificial sense pervades Hearthbreakers, which feels contrived and constructed instead of organic.  We should enjoy spending time with the Pie family, but only get glimpses of how cool Maud is, the depths Pinkie’s twin(!) sister Marble hides, and Pinkie’s experience growing up among family members with completely different personalities.  Confalone apparently never comprehended these missed opportunities, which makes Hearthbreakers a tantalizing tease that still needs improvement.  Even with some enjoyable parts, it doesn’t come close to being satisfying.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 623 - Where The Apple Lies

Rating:

After two awful outings, Dave Rapp tried but failed at the trifecta, which turned out good for us.  Where The Apple Lies is surprisingly watchable and easily his best season six episode, although it’s also not without faults.  The improvement comes from Rapp watching previous episodes and applying that knowledge, but his origin story remains debatably believable.  It details when young Applejack told a lie which spiraled out of control, which we wouldn’t expect from Ms. Honesty.  While obviously troperific, the characters are young and lively enough to provide some entertainment.  Despite mostly taking place before Apple Bloom’s birth, Applejack’s parents still do not appear nor are they ever mentioned, so I guess one day the stork brought her.  We also learn Big Mac was previously quite loquacious, but piped down solely from this one event.  Probably not.  Such inconsistencies hurt Apple Lies’ enjoyment, as does its unoriginal plot and Rapp ignoring times when lies are necessary.  Considering his distinct lack of writing style cachet, those aforementioned problems, and still more filler, the episode can’t be rated any higher despite it representing an improvement on the previous two.  Rapp’s mildly competent work still isn’t great upon any reflection though, and season six needed a lot more than what he produced.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 621 - Every Little Thing She Does

 Rating:

I must be feeling quite charitable not to give such a dumb, dull, and misplaced episode two stars or worse.  Michael Vogel had some relative success in season six (story credit for Viva Las Pegasus, Stranger Than Fan Fiction script doctored by Josh Haber), but every decision he made here was poor.  Starlight has been shirking her friendship lessons (guess that explains her relatively few appearances), so she decides to do them all at once.  “Surprisingly”, it doesn’t go well.  Given Every Little Thing’s somewhat introductory nature into Starlight’s mane six friendships, many bronies understandably wondered why the episode wasn’t aired earlier.  Like, say, in place of that Christmas episode which aired in May.  As also happened in The Fault In Our Cutie Marks, Vogel assumed Starlight had a more productive season than she did, including many new alicorn-strength spells with Harry Potter-styled names (accelero, fiducia compelus, cogeria, persuadere).  So instead of her lesson, Starlight hypnotizes everyone while Twilight is conveniently away and nearly destroys the castle, an event which includes her exclaiming “this can’t get any worse”.  At least Vogel tries touching on how difficult making friends can be for those who don’t have many, but this doesn’t compensate for the slapstick, dumb movie quotes, and overall general tedium of an episode that goes nowhere and has little to say.  Unfortunately, the animators also did him no favors, using more strangely ugly faces for angry ponies and putting footprints above a door which no animal could reach.

How the hell did a bear get up there?  Typically for season six, Every Little Thing was another sloppy and uninteresting effort from the B-team who clearly weren’t capable of better work.  Maybe it doesn’t reach the pain levels of inferior episodes, but that might only be because you’re too bored to notice.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Season 6 Bottom 5

I will come right to the point.  Season six is the worst one yet aired by My Little Pony.  It unnecessarily answers the question of what season two would have been like minus M. A. Larson.  With him, Amy Keating Rogers, and Meghan McCarthy (thankfully) moving on, and Dave Polsky penning only one underwhelming episode, a noticeable dearth of writing talent existed which the other staff members could not overcome.  In every sense a “B-squad” season, newly anointed story editor Josh Haber dealt with some scripts apparently 5-6 years old, other hateful ones like those found in season two, and his own problematic season bookending two-parters which didn’t match McCarthy’s better efforts.  On top of that, he was tasked with integrating Starlight Glimmer into the main cast, but this also failed.  Early episodes and the season finale focused on her while excluding the mane six, but the in-between efforts found her mysteriously absent.  Some of Starlight’s “appearances” had zero lines, even when her voice actress was used elsewhere in that same episode, so these cameos didn’t really count either.  Haber and the other writers couldn’t justify Starlight’s inclusion on the show, but this was only one of many other notable disappointments.

My choice for the top spot and the lone episode to earn four stars (out of 24 possibilities) was Stranger Than Fan Fiction, which featured comedian Patton Oswalt as a know-it-all critical pony who Rainbow Dash meets and eventually befriends at a Daring Do fan convention.  This outing was not universally well-received, and didn’t pertain to the season’s main themes at all.  Other stronger efforts included the Parks & Recreation tribute The Saddle Row Review (detailing Rarity’s troubled grand opening of her boutique in Canterlot), and surprisingly the final two map episodes (Viva Las Pegasus and Top Bolt), which both featured atypically strong characterization.  Outside of the season-capping two-parters, that was it, as most of season six hovered around 2-3 stars.

Overall, season six was both unsure and unable to accomplish what it desired.  Many new characters were introduced on top of Starlight’s integration, although not all of them were effective or worthy of returning.  But even with several strong animation efforts and the voice cast’s usual solid work, season six was not close to the quality of previous years.  No other season failed to have at least three episodes earn four stars or higher from me (and that was the shortened season three), but season six only produced one such (admittedly debatable) effort.  As such, I am dispensing the top portion of this list since there were not enough qualifying good episodes.  That leaves only the bottom, and while there were not as many awful efforts as season two, an astounding 14 of the 24 reviews earned two-and-a-half stars or less.  This kind of quality is unacceptable, and it practically forces me to suspend my series reviews indefinitely.  Despite so many poor outings, only five stood out as the worst, and they are quite dreadful.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 614 - The Cart Before The Ponies

Rating:

Did I use “oh god” already?  Apparently My Little Pony’s creators pulled an old Ed Valentine script out of the trash (his previous episode aired over 2½ years earlier), but its moral is so obvious and heavy-handed that The Cart Before The Ponies feels like it was written before season one.  Cheerilee announces her class will be participating in the Pinewood Applewood Derby so they can learn about physics.  Nobody does unsurprisingly, as Valentine starts feverishly retconning from there.  Now three awards exist instead of one, the mane six totally did this event when they were young, and everyone dies in a horrific car accident at the end oh never mind, they’re fine.  Valentine’s premise concerns parents who live out failed dreams through their children, but should an episode dealing with this common problem really feel so painful?  Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash ignore their sisters’ (confusing) desires over which prize they want and just build and race the cars themselves.  With no rule stating otherwise, the Crusaders could have just switched partners and been fine, except they never thought about doing so.  Instead, we get the pictured disaster which everyone somehow walks away from unscathed, and a “do-over” that now doesn’t have time to finish.  Every event only occurs in service to Valentine’s moral, since he obviously doesn’t care about anything making sense.  The previously competitive Applejack (Fall Weather Friends, Sisterhooves Social) happily finishes dead last in a rickety buggy?  Sweetie Belle is fine being seen in one too?  Scootaloo has no competitive desire either, and thinks putting a chicken head on her car equals creativity?  And are we really supposed to believe Derpy beat Rarity for “most creative” all those years ago?  Valentine’s script is poorly paced and almost feels written for a completely different series.  None of his choices worked, and the episode rates among My Little Pony’s most difficult to watch.  Even with an important moral, The Cart Before The Ponies cannot be recommended.