My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 516 - Made In Manehattan

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Without a strong character like Maud Pie, Noelle Benvenuti’s Made In Manehattan achieves very little.  Coco Pommel returns, while Applejack and Rarity must somehow improve New Yorkers’ attitudes.  Their task involves a community theater revival which will reignite Manehattan’s neighborhood spirit, but the play is so dull that no one could possibly find it captivating.  And that goes for the rest of the episode also, which doesn’t offer any character development, story, or reason for existence as nothing remotely compelling happens.  Benvenuti still has decent characterization and some moments are watchable, but there are too many coincidences, odd references, and moments of Applejack wondering if this “could be the reason the map called me here”.  An “anti”-montage of Applejack accomplishing nothing is balanced out by her wondering if they can make it off a street “corner”.  While obviously satire, this could be legitimate after an earlier tense street crossing.  And that’s indicative of Made In Manehattan’s problem, since Benvenuti’s incredibly dry script fails to produce tension or interest.  The (almost forgotten) map’s god-like properties feel odd, Rarity and Applejack still aren’t convincing together, and Coco only frets about her stupid volunteer work which couldn’t possibly be important.  Obviously Benvenuti had a good heart and message behind this episode, but that lackluster play would have only further divided everyone.  Made In Manehattan is more frustrating than disappointing then, since few episodes are so boring and poorly thought out.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Season 3 Top And Bottom 3

The preordained half order for season three prevented much hoped-for development, but My Little Pony was definitely in transition nonetheless.  Fortunately, no truly awful episodes were produced like in earlier seasons, but a reduced count still didn’t prevent unnecessary filler.  Even worse was both of M. A. Larson’s episodes getting heavily cut and feeling rushed, which could have been prevented by eliminating any show Merriwether Williams touched.  Each writer found their usual spots on the top and bottom lists, but that doesn’t mean surprises didn’t otherwise abound.  Dave Polsky returned to establish himself as one of My Little Pony’s better scribes, while newcomer Corey Powell fit in more than some writers who had already worked the entire series.  Many characters’ returns were notably well done (unlike any new ones introduced), although the most talked about development had to wait until further seasons for exploration.  That creates an unfinished feel to season three despite tiny steps of progress being made.  Even so, every episode’s relative merits are pretty much known already.  There shouldn’t be as much fluctuation as season two’s list, although the final spots remain open for debate.  This list is of course half-sized, since the usual top and bottom five would encompass almost every episode.

About The Ranking System

Thanks to newspaper editors and an idiot populace, movie reviews are typically accompanied by a rating of so many stars or whatnot.  We’re familiar with how they show relative worth, but what do stars even mean?  People notoriously have trouble comprehending numbers, which also goes for most reviewers.  They find rating systems arbitrary and have therefore adopted a cavalier attitude regarding something they don’t enjoy.  Granted, ranking everything perfectly is impossible, but stars aren’t necessarily pretending to do so.  What they indicate are levels that quickly reference a relative ranking while allowing variation between each.  Hypothetically, any amount of numbers could be used, and some publications even assign ratings out of 100.  Practically speaking, some limit must be made or any system will become useless.

While four stars are usually used for movies, this amount is a bit too restrictive for me.  Allmusic uses five, and I have more or less adopted that system.  From 1-5 and including half stars, this allows nine different ratings, which is typically enough and partially analogous to a 1-10 scale.  Episodes generally fall into one of these levels, but not all fours are exactly the same quality.  Each level has a meaning though, which are helpfully described below.

Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans Of My Little Pony

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I am not a brony.  Even if Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans Of My Little Pony doesn’t quite reach its goal, the documentary inspires me to consider how I got here.  Despite volumes of books written on a show I don’t particularly like, any consequences have been spared since my interest remains completely hidden.  Bronies depicts less fortunate souls as director Laurent Malaquais attempts to show that the My Little Pony fandom isn’t so weird after all, but he can’t congeal his footage into a compelling story.  Malaquais splits time between specific bronies’ lives from around the world and interviews with various cast members, although neither angle ends up being explored deeply enough.  That My Little Pony has helped these specific people cannot be denied, but one wonders if every celebrity appears more for their careers than the fans.  Making matters worse are a few animated shorts (starring John de Lancie) which try explaining bronies with a Gilbert and Sullivan-esque tune, but only end up stereotypically dividing them into non-existent groups.  However, Malaquais does at least capture the fandom’s spirit, which shines through for large stretches and makes Bronies an overall enjoyable experience.  Focusing on those fans who are unaccepted by their community is wise, but Malaquais doesn’t demonstrate why this show inspires such devotion.  No time is spent on any character besides Twilight (because of Tara Strong), while the writing and episode strength doesn’t match other top shows of its era.  Every interview subject still seems like an outsider who looks and acts very strange, while they’re not entirely humanized or made to seem remotely normal.  Not that anyone should, but the distinct question of “why?” hangs over Bronies without ever being answered.  At least it hints that My Little Pony’s positive outlook came as a respite after 2008’s economic recession, which similarly parallels the Beatles and Shirley Temple in history.  And the love felt and good times had by every convention-goer are definitely infectious.  Pacing and editing problems still dominate however, while having to meet celebrity demands doesn’t help either.  Malaquais makes some progress on a vexing conundrum for outsiders though, even if Bronies almost certainly won’t recruit any new fans.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 512 - Amending Fences

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Amending Fences plays as either the second part or flipside to Slice Of Life, but yet explores completely different ground despite starting from a similar spot.  Instead of fan-derived background characters, M.A. Larson based his script on one throwaway moment which occurs two minutes into the pilot.  These ponies had lines and some personality, but were then completely forgotten.  Twilight brushed past them and their party invitation before investigating her suspicions regarding the “Mare in the Moon” prophecy, and she was subsequently sent to Ponyville for good.  While Amending Fences’ story may feel familiar, Larson again took bold risks by strongly adhering to continuity and eschewing any sort of “interesting” plot.  But focusing on character interactions is never anything less than compelling.  Those three ponies who confronted Twilight (Minuette, Twinkleshine, Lemon Hearts) were barely moved and seem happy having some tenuous celebrity connection.  The mentioned but previously unseen Moondancer behaves quite differently though.  Without actual time travel, Larson uses her to show an alternate universe where Twilight never made friends.  Moondancer’s design and other similarities are therefore quite intentional.  But she also might be a shy introvert who got hurt and then retreated into herself.  Larson doesn’t have time for developing every new character, but Minuette and Moondancer are more well-defined than certain recurring ones.  He also touches on celebrity culture and (possible) autism while clearing up loose threads literally no one cared about.  This decision makes Equestria seem like a real world with consequences rather than an episodic TV show which always starts and ends in the same place.  Like its sister episode Slice Of Life, Amending Fences feels very different from “normal” My Little Pony outings, but Larson correctly realized that this show was well-suited for such material.  By using continuity to explore human themes and showing more “background” characters who deserve being seen again, Amending Fences stands as yet another testament to Larson’s superiority of craft.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 513 - Do Princesses Dream Of Magic Sheep?

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M.A. Larson joked on Twitter that Scott Sonneborn was his pen name, but Do Princesses Dream Of Magic Sheep? suggests it is one for Meghan McCarthy instead.  Luna asks the mane six for help battling bad dreams, but this somehow includes a retconned villain and “that was easy” plot solutions.  Apparently figuring third time’s the charm, directors Jayson Thiessen and Jim Miller offer yet another story, but this time their premise is excellent.  Unfortunately, one can feel Sonneborn battling against his own script, as he just isn’t good enough to pull the episode off.  With My Little Pony visiting dreams once again, Sonneborn was given an opportunity to have fun and go crazy, which sort of happened.  There are isolated strong moments, but Sonneborn can’t find consistency or move away from mane six stereotypes.  However, Princesses feels enjoyable overall and Luna’s final development unquestionably elevates the episode over Sonneborn’s other works.  Considering what could have been though, it’s still disappointing.  Sonneborn never matches the joyful mood of Larson’s outings, with too many scenes feeling insincere.  Would Applejack really enjoy a dream about one big apple, or would Rarity find those creepy ugly dresses flying around “divine”?  These show Sonneborn doesn’t have adequate character knowledge or insight, and the animators adding a few background pony references can’t make up for this deficiency.  He never shakes a feeling of incompetence, which prevents Princesses from matching season five’s other top efforts.  This episode could have been great in someone else’s hands, since the freedom of dreams allows much potential for character development.  But it didn’t happen, and Sonneborn got caught up enough in what he explored that the ending feels extremely rushed.  Clearly having other writing partners kept Sonneborn out of the doghouse, since Luna’s development far exceeds his season four efforts.  But it was also probably part of Thiessen and Miller’s story, and seems tacked on in Confalone’s structure.  Princesses still provides plenty to like, but the premise couldn’t be screwed up and most My Little Pony writers would have produced a better script.  Oh, and Tank’s awake now and perfectly fine.  So much for that episode about “dying” then.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 511 - Party Pooped

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Inexplicably giving it another go, directors Jayson Thiessen and Jim Miller farmed out their second straight story for Party Pooped, which doesn’t really pertain to the titular event.  While offering another “diversity” story that never shows it, writer Nick Confalone fares better by attempting way too much and having some things stick.  Twilight is preparing for a visit from Yakyakistan delegates (yes, he went there), but these ruffians smash anything around when the slightest thing angers them.  This occurs when something isn’t exactly like what they know from home, or always.  Eventually pinning their diplomacy hopes on Pinkie Pie’s upcoming party, she travels to Yakyakistan hoping to find something which will please them.  Early scenes struggle with the Yaks’ repetitive behavior and more crazy eyes from Twilight and Pinkie, but Party Pooped improves slightly during Pinkie’s trip (usually writers force another character along so the main one can converse with someone, but Confalone averts this trope by having Pinkie talk to herself, which works better than it would for most).  Despite producing a few laughs, Confalone’s effort feels raw (Pinkie Pie is always called by both names), and never successfully answers why it exists.  The Yaks were never mentioned before and act like stereotypical heathens who possess few redeeming qualities (outside of an apparent love for Chopin).  Twilight and Pinkie going crazy (again) simultaneously isn’t compelling, and the mane six seem oddly absent from an episode which features them prominently.  But the Yaks’ portrayal may also have some real life basis, and Confalone finds a decent lesson that his episode actually arrives at.  This doesn’t mean Party Pooped isn’t over the top while being rather frivolous, but Confalone does score some positives.  While problematic overall and certainly unnecessary, it doesn’t reach earlier season five lows and definitely shows partial intelligence.  Even if Party Pooped ends up being forgettable, it still claws toward some middle ground and creates a few memorable moments.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 509 - Slice Of Life

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While The Simpsons has notably developed a huge cast of supporting characters (over more than 25 years of episodes), My Little Pony has never before felt able to equal it.  To celebrate their 100^th production, Slice Of Life solely focuses on background ponies that had only appeared infrequently with few if any lines.  The episode’s framing device is Cranky and Matilda’s wedding (both of whom last spoke in season two’s dreadful A Friend In Deed), but M.A. Larson jumps around between many different stories while Ponyville prepares for this big event.  Unlike The Simpsons though, none of these characters were developed by My Little Pony’s creators.  In most cases, names and personalities are all fan-derived, which makes Slice Of Life a landmark episode in that regard.  Granted, it often plays like a fan-fiction compilation (with not every part being completely successful), but the episode also does something more remarkable.  With the mane six almost completely absent, Slice Of Life is just as compelling as any other top episode.  The series could exist without them and be equally good.  We discover My Little Pony’s minor characters are not merely set pieces, but actual beings with similar hopes and dreams.  Maybe Larson is too heavy-handed with this point at the end, but he still makes it.  Younger fans might not be familiar with all these characters, and even the most devoted bronies probably won’t pick up every reference.  But this never detracts from or is necessary for an enjoyable experience.  The animators unquestionably had a field day packing in tons of detail, which is literally impossible to entirely notice on a first viewing.  Larson also took many risks, like featuring Derpy, having a story which tangents around town, using an extended musical number to start act three, and of course ignoring the main characters.  While others might have failed in doing so, every one of them absolutely paid off.  Switching with Amy Keating Rogers (who wrote Griffonstone instead) was also fortunate, since Larson again finds his way to one of My Little Pony’s best episodes.  Even despite needing research, his confidence in each scene is unmatched by any other writer.  While seeming almost random at first, every section feels perfectly balanced within the story.  And this doesn’t mention how incredibly fun Slice Of Life is (get used to hearing “smile on my face the whole way through”).  Even if you’re not an avid fan-fiction reader or can only recognize a few characters, that spirit still holds.  There can be no more fitting 100^th episode since Slice Of Life acknowledges how important fan contributions have been to My Little Pony, and in a very different way from earlier series.  We probably won’t hear much from these characters again, but there’s now no reason why we shouldn’t.  Slice Of Life might be a tease in that way, but what a glorious one it is.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 510 - Princess Spike

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Surprisingly, Princess Spike ends up at the same moral from Slice Of Life, but this happenstance only indicates a larger problem.  After celebrating Ponyville’s diversity, Celestia attempts doing the same thing with her Grand Galloping Equestria Pony Summit.  Planning this event has kept Twilight up for three days straight, so Cadance orders Spike to make sure she isn’t disturbed while just resting before the opening reception.  Although she’s obviously dead tired, Spike seeks to eliminate any sounds from Twilight’s general area, which pushes him into a deeper adventure once he starts giving orders in her name.  While Slice Of Life celebrated its multitude of references, Princess Spike just feels like a rehash.  Here’s Spike doing stupid things like every episode starring him.  Then he’s getting greedy and lusting for power, which more or less happened in Secret Of My Excess.  Directors Jayson Thiessen and Jim Miller came up with this flimsy story, but newcomer Neal Dusedau couldn’t improve their premise.  His dialogue is solid and doesn’t feel too horrible, but I can find nothing positive in Princess Spike’s script.  Every new character is a stereotype that Dusedau couldn’t be bothered to name (our friend Marge Gunderson up there gets no pony pun), and the various princesses fare little better since they don’t stand out or delineate themselves.  Even Cadance’s rare meaty supporting role finds her refusing to chastise Spike for usurping Twilight’s power and ruining everything.  That leaves Princess Spike as another slapstick episode where we’re supposed to laugh from a character doing stupid things that snowball out of control, which then again somehow results in a lesson it never shows.  Between weak plotting, long stretches of painful scenes, and bland or stereotypical characterization, Princess Spike is a nothing of an episode which fails to add any positive contributions.  Despite not being overtly awful on the surface, it just can’t be recommended.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 508 - The Lost Treasure Of Griffonstone

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After Trixie’s third season rehabilitation, having Gilda receive similar treatment at least counts as necessary.  Not that Amy Keating Rogers accomplishes what M.A. Larson did in Magic Duel, but thankfully Griffon The Brush-Off wasn’t Gilda’s last memory.  For unknown reasons, the map sends Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash toward Griffonstone; a certain species’ homeland.  Twilight has already familiarized herself with its history, but she won’t be going (a decision that only satisfies My Little Pony’s budget staff).  Once they arrive, Dash and Pinkie see the formerly proud city has fallen into extreme disrepair.  Obviously Griffonstone needs fixing up, but how that should be done isn’t agreed upon.  Rogers visited both extremes during her MLP tenure, and this episode certainly lands on the high side.  But her writing still hits many raw spots, with clichés or Pinkie’s antics detracting from an otherwise positive vibe.  Gilda’s change is probably too quick, while her story of meeting Dash feels clichéd and predictable despite adding badly needed depth.  Her relationship with Dash makes more sense though, and her likely lesbianism feels much less weird.  Calling The Lost Treasure Of Griffonstone a full-fledged return seems unlikely, since Dash probably won’t visit Gilda again even if we actually wouldn’t mind that now.  Rogers’ script appears rushed (not necessarily her fault of course) and finds Dash and Pinkie acting slightly stereotypically.  But she also successfully ruminates on lost friendships that maybe shouldn’t have ended.  Making one of the first season’s most unlikable characters tolerable rates as no small accomplishment, as does finding another thread in the “disgust over cutie marks” theme.  This isn’t enough for The Lost Treasure Of Griffonstone to stand with season five’s best episodes, but many parts come rather close.  Dweebs.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 507 - Make New Friends But Keep Discord

 

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Holy shit, there’s another Grand Galloping Gala coming up!  And it’s today!  A whole year went into planning this important event before, but fuck it, let’s go.  Every previously seen moment of drama is crammed into one episode, including being butthurt over invitations, fancy new dresses, a disastrous main event, and Celestia inexplicably loving it.  But Discord wasn’t around that first time, so now he wants to go because he’ll feel bad otherwise.  While Natasha Levinger (perhaps with certain assistance) finds some surprisingly decent moments outside of her main character, Discord remains front and center.  And just like in Three’s A Crowd, he’s annoyingly awful.  Discord doesn’t understand Fluttershy wanting to take someone else, but then shows why by being obnoxious and rude throughout.  And he remains the focus despite many other interesting things going on around him.  This year’s Gala is Twilight’s first as a princess, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders will likewise be in attendance.  Maud also reappears, and she steals the episode with only two lines in about ten seconds of screen time.  But then there’s Discord doing bad standup comedy (straight out of Baby Cakes), although smashing a watermelon can’t save his act or the show.  For every decent moment scattered about (Pinkie Pie shakes the camera for a dumb reason), Levinger inflicts ten times as much pain.  Oh, I could have made this episode good if I wanted to, but I’d rather make you suffer.  Nothing about Make New Friends But Keep Discord feels right, since almost every second is a miscalculation in some way.  Clearly many other episodes were missed, but then they weren’t because we already saw them during the first season.  Fluttershy acts incredibly shallow, while her friends don’t fare much better.  Two new characters are also horrible for different reasons.  Tree Hugger is a hippie stereotype that does everything but pass doobs, while the Smooze somewhat reprises that 1986 My Little Pony movie’s villain.  His only goals are figuring out how much he can steal and whose clothes to ruin.  Unfortunately, Discord’s mind-numbingly dreadful performance stands out most, and there are no survivors.  Make New Friends rips off season one’s biggest arc while inexplicably making marijuana canon.  Even though the better moments should theoretically produce a higher rating…no, just no.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Season 1 Top And Bottom 5

Many shows have rough beginnings as they try to get a feel for things, and that definitely happened with My Little Pony despite its popularity.  It was a tale of two halves, as the first part was almost uni­formly terrible while the second’s strong stretch surprisingly made up for it.  With the exceptions of (unexpectedly in both cases) series creator Lauren Faust and Megan McCarthy, every writer dropped a turd their first time out, but they also improved in their second and often dra­matically.  M.A. Larson most notably went from ripping off the Tribbles to penning season one’s two best episodes, although Dave Polsky made almost as big a jump.

The ratio of good to bad episodes actually almost matches season two’s, which certainly wouldn’t have been believable fifteen shows in.  Poor outings still abounded though, with no fewer than ten episodes receiving two stars or less, and some twos debatably deserve one and a half.  No single episode was great as all had flaws somewhere, but that didn’t stop much of the second half from being pleasurable.  Multiple mini-arcs definitely helped things, as did just about any time the mane six went on an adventure together.  Those episodes that concentrated on just a couple of ponies were less successful, as were almost every new character introduced and various strange attempts at making My Little Pony more like Looney Tunes.  There was a definite rawness that lasted for most of the first half, but this eventually disappeared as the writers grew more comforta­ble with their characters.  Like every season, a hierarchy between those episodes that belong in the top and bottom lists exists, but the bottom order still remains open for debate.  At least eight low-ranking episodes could make the bottom five, so selecting the worst becomes semantics at some point.  My top list may not feel all that great, but it will have to do until My Little Pony produces a truly great episode that stands with television’s best.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 506 - Appleoosa's Most Wanted

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Defying many expectations, Dave Polsky’s reinstatement has finally meant the return for (some) of his Over A Barrel Appleloosa characters.  Most fans probably didn’t want a sequel to one rather misunderstood and unliked episode, but Polsky doesn’t provide what you’d think that would entail either.  Once again, our favorite ponies receive a second episode aired shortly after their first, but surprisingly it’s just as good.  Tirelessly (and endlessly) questing, the Crusaders have accompanied Applejack to Appleloosa (probably misspelled in the title) under some naïve belief that they will earn cutie marks at a rodeo.  Apparently Braeburn was hurt somehow and has asked Applejack to fill in, but the adult plot stays mostly ancillary.  After Sheriff Silverstar announces an outlaw threatens to terrorize Appleloosa’s rodeo, the Crusaders set their sights on stopping him.  That they don’t end up needing to is one of many surprises which follow.  Admittedly, Polsky’s style is maddening and features another dose of slapstick and clichés.  He often almost loses control, but Trouble Shoes’ introduction prevents it from happening.  While again neglecting the premiere’s map, Appleoosa’s Most Wanted still fits season five’s theme by discussing dissatisfaction with cutie marks.  Trouble Shoes not only dislikes his, but apparently misunderstands it as well.  Or he doesn’t, and the Crusaders help “make it work”.  Obviously Appleoosa’s Most Wanted is uneven, but Polsky finds a strong yet different tone quite unlike the one he produced for Over A Barrel.  We see everything from the Crusaders’ perspective, which is only odd given a separate plot occurring virtually off screen.  Despite some problems and questionable decisions (Stockholm syndrome probably wasn’t an intended reference), Polsky pulls through with genuinely funny moments, the aforementioned tone, and an interesting conclusion.  Maybe his resolution isn’t concrete, but Polsky provokes thought and initiates discussion regarding a concept that becomes less simple by the episode.  Call it another guilty pleasure, but few scripts are so delightful about their mess.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 505 - Tanks For The Memories

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Yawn, I’m with Tank.  The little guy spent his eponymous episode almost falling asleep, and so did I.  For Tank, “winter is coming” (actually one of a few decent lines), which means he must soon hibernate.  While silly sounding, tortoise owners actually face this important issue, since improper care often leads to death.  Plus, kids probably should learn about hibernation somewhere, which is fairly common among animal (but not pet) communities.  Furthermore, My Little Pony was on an unprecedented run of five straight episodes earning at least 3½ stars from me.  So naturally everything comes crashing down with Cindy Morrow in charge.  Despite being handed an important lesson, Tanks For The Memories finds Rainbow Dash raging, crying bucket loads of tears, and nearly killing everyone in Ponyville and Cloudsdale due to stupidity.  Structured as an unholy mash-up of Sonic Rainboom, Winter Wrap Up, and May The Best Pet Win, Tanks takes each episode’s worst parts and forms them into something that shouldn’t exist.  Morrow pretends Tank is Rainbow Dash’s BFF, and again finds winter induced by ponies.  Why would you ever have winter if it was a choice?  Snow isn’t worth freezing your nads off.  So now Dash can’t bear living without Tank until March, and decides to prevent winter in increasingly idiotic ways.  Meanwhile, Tank stays bored and sleepy, but continues getting dragged into more unhilarious misadventures.  While Tanks For The Memories looks really nice, it otherwise has nothing in common with season five.  A filler story that could take place almost anywhere which patronizes its audience while reveling in pain makes Tanks completely unnecessary.  Morrow was once the only writer who found some growth in Rainbow Dash, but now she reverts Dash into a petulant child that obliviously causes harm.  Even if it’s eventually almost touching, Tanks’ wall-to-wall discomfort can’t rate any higher.  With clichéd dialogue, another awful song, questionable plotting, an unwanted callback regarding Equestria’s winter, and no punishment for wanton destruction, Tanks For The Memories isn’t remotely watchable in long stretches and unquestionably places amongst the season’s worst episodes.  Maybe that final scene of everyone acting like Tank is dying was prophetic, because he probably won’t be waking up again based on how Dash treats him.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episodes 501-02 - The Cutie Map

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Nothing shocked me more about season five’s premiere The Cutie Map than its writing credit, which I never would have guessed was possible.  Naturally Meghan McCarthy did the story, but the script was left to a collaboration between Scott Sonneborn (last season’s worst new writer) and M.A. Larson (our savior).  Why Sonneborn would be allowed to even look at a season premiere or be in the same room as Larson’s typewriter are questions that cannot be answered yet.  The Cutie Map plays like an unholy love child between Larson and McCarthy, as a big mane six adventure dealing with unexplored issues regarding cutie marks mingles with another retconned villain and “that was easy” plot solutions.  Now that a small castle has replaced Twilight’s library, the mane six are given thrones and a 3D map of Equestria that directs our ponies toward various problems.  Before anyone can settle in, they are whisked off to a village that is too friendly and whose entire population has an equal sign cutie mark.  Larson’s ideas dominate early, since the real world doesn’t have cutie marks and people may either dislike their “special talent” or not even have one.  Then McCarthy’s adventure takes over, since of course this village is an evil cult whose leader must be stopped.  While a roundabout way to approach it, The Cutie Map’s overall message is clearly diversity makes the world better, and various attempts at racial “purity” and conformity ultimately hurt our own society.  Maybe that’s somewhat lost in a story which doesn’t always reflect it, but the ending’s vibrancy of many different colored ponies cannot be denied.  Other issues aren’t fully addressed, and Larson probably would’ve been better writing the episode himself.  But The Cutie Map still fascinatingly explores a land without cutie marks, and acts as an effective introduction to the fifth season.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Season 2 Top And Bottom 6

To be blunt, season two is not aging well.  And if not for M.A. Larson’s contributions, it would be a complete disaster.  No less than six episodes received bumps down from my original ratings (with none going up), and the argument could be made that there should be more.  Even Larson’s scripts may not be as good as first thought, but at least he was trying.  For an overall theme, the writers pulled out baseball bats to beat our ponies over their heads and anywhere else for laughs, or just outright hated whoever else was around.  Many were also hopefully on some substance while writing, since they took potentially great ideas and came up with the worst or most confounding depictions of them.  While some minor gems still remain, the second season is a profoundly flawed effort that’s just overridden with trash.  As I suspected years ago, it has been necessary to completely revisit and reorder my first top and bottom list, although most episodes on both returned.  However, the order seems even more arbitrary since no clear top favorite stands out, and the bottom list is so full of horrid outings that any of them deserve finishing last.  Second seasons can often seem raw before a series really gets going, and My Little Pony is obviously no different.  At least it improved from this point, but describing season two as “rough” understates things greatly.  While probably an exercise in futility, my revised rankings follow below.  Because of the stark contrast between good and poor episodes, and the latter’s sheer amount, both lists are expanded to six entries.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 504 - Bloom And Gloom

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Echoing one thread from The Cutie Map, Bloom And Gloom explores more possible dissatisfaction with cutie marks.  This time, the Crusaders’ perspective is considered, and more specifically Apple Bloom.  After season four’s “realism”, Josh Haber’s fifth season debut is purposely anything but.  His script is structured as a number of obvious dreams that deconstruct Apple Bloom’s various fears regarding her potentially appearing mark.  No importance is made about when Apple Bloom wakes up or hiding that fact from the audience, which allows Haber to solely focus on his theme.  Babs Seed’s letter describing her recently acquired cutie mark inspires fear in the Crusaders, who wonder if she should even be allowed in their group anymore.  Then Apple Bloom’s following slumber turns into a nightmare she may never wake up from.  As it deals with dreams, Bloom And Gloom eventually becomes the third in an unexpected trilogy featuring Princess Luna.  But her majesty mostly stays out of the way while letting Apple Bloom and company discover their own lessons.  Similarly starting every nightmare leads to a recursion feel, as Apple Bloom learns something each time.  This allows her fears to be explored while providing partial plot progression.  Bloom And Gloom’s simple message is still important.  Cutie marks represent an expression of who you are, and hiding from one means running away from yourself.  This naturally could mean many different things, but getting stuck with a job you hate legitimately concerns most people who work.  Even if not spectacularly deep or completely original, Bloom And Gloom is a surprisingly strong and engaging effort that doesn’t rely on its gimmick for impact.  Humanizing the Crusaders doesn’t happen often enough, but their potentially goofy struggles rarely hit home this much.  Maximizing a premise doesn’t either, and Haber’s deft handling of issues probably wouldn’t have been matched by most writers.  His touch makes Bloom And Gloom better than it probably had a right to be.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 503 - Castle Sweet Castle

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Season five’s airing order begins the same as season four’s; a big two-part adventure followed by some slice of life from a new writer.  Or two this time, since friendship amongst the writing staff is also an early theme.  Instead of the spooky genre exercise Castle Mane-ia, Joanna Lewis and Kristine Songco were tasked with cleaning up some loose threads.  After living in her cramped library for the previous four seasons, Twilight’s new home is a spacious castle.  Far from accepting this huge life change with no trepidation, Twilight is spending a bit too much time with her friends.  Realizing the problem, they step in and agree to redecorate, but their touches are slightly more personal than would be warranted.  Despite invoking that “keep her occupied” trope, Castle Sweet Castle otherwise has a realistic feel which is atypical of most episodes.  Lewis and Songco show strong series knowledge and find many surprisingly funny moments.  They also waste some time with bickering and two montages of the same song.  While nothing really happens, it’s refreshing to find writers who treat our ponies as human(ish) rather than storybook heroes.  Maybe this slice of life doesn’t end up being all that compelling or revelatory, but day-to-day existence rarely is.  Castle Sweet Castle avoids being filler by fulfilling a necessary part of starting the new season.  Lewis and Songco are solid, and that’s more than enough given My Little Pony’s prodigious lows.  Their premiere episode may not impress much, but mostly was done about as well as could be expected.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episodes 201-02 - The Return Of Harmony

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While M.A. Larson would tackle many issues during an impressive second season run of episodes, his lone two-part opener is all story.  As something of a companion to the pilot, The Return Of Harmony introduces Discord (an omnipotent lord of chaos voiced by John de Lancie), and calls upon our ponies to reunite the Elements Of Harmony and save Equestria.  After retrieving these Elements by traveling through a labyrinth, Twilight must restore her friends once they are turned into opposite versions of themselves by Discord.  Larson follows Lauren Faust’s blueprint in having the six ponies go on adventures together, and it takes a little while to crystalize into a complete story.  Additionally, Larson’s dialogue isn’t always spectacular, while his use of slapstick (though not usually intended for laughs) and a “that was easy” solution end up being unfortunate harbingers for many subsequent episodes.  But he also finds classic moments as well; mainly in the labyrinth and later scenes of the anti-mane six.  And of course there’s de Lancie, whose Q persona fits surprisingly well in a completely unrelated series.  His Discord produces sights that won’t appear again around Ponyville, and de Lancie’s instantly recognizable voice is perfect for voice acting.  The Return Of Harmony is unquestionably better with him, and his performance is strong enough to warrant multiple return visits for Discord.  Larson’s style feels slightly raw though, and borrowing other writers’ worst traits means the episode isn’t aging so well.  But his overall sense of story is strong even if the ending feels rushed.  Despite being slightly inconsistent and awkward, The Return Of Harmony’s better moments are unparalleled in the series.  That still makes for one of the season’s best episodes despite any lessons having to wait until next week.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 220 - It's About Time

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Time travel is a popular science fiction subject with plenty of potential for screwing up.  It’s probably impossible in theory (at least backwards), and never takes into account the earth’s rotation or orbit.  Still, the amount of derived prospective stories is immense, and need not be limited to sci-fi settings.  As Ponyville’s version, It’s About Time still contains that paradox of only happening because of time travel which wouldn’t have occurred otherwise, but everything else in the plot is surprisingly sound.  Twilight receives a visit from her future self looking like a ninja pirate and apparently warning of impending doom next Tuesday.  She spends the subsequent week or so freaking out as little by little her appearance matches future Twilight’s.  Naturally she finally realizes there was no such disaster, but going back in time finds her unable to stop past Twilight from worrying.  Instead of just a fun meaningless story, M.A. Larson covers issues regarding our perception of the future and how we often feel like it will never happen.  Additionally, Twilight’s fretting about something happening ends up being its cause rather than some magic evil force, which can also paradoxically be true in real life.  While Larson’s dialogue isn’t always crisp and not every scene works, the thought he clearly put in stands out.  It’s About Time features fun storytelling and excellent exploration of its subjects, when many season two episodes didn’t have either.  Despite not quite matching Larson’s best work and being technically frivolous, It’s About Time stands with the many entertaining and memorable episodes Larson wrote for this season.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 219 - Putting Your Hoof Down

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I’m all for asserting yourself, but Putting Your Hoof Down oscillates too fast between the extremes.  Fluttershy starts as a virtual abused housewife, then quickly changes into Iron Will Jr. with no explanation.  Yes, it’s mildly fun seeing her not taking anyone’s shit, but this becomes an excuse to embarrass ponies around town.  Nothing is really learned from Fluttershy momentarily taking charge except that the world loves extraverts and there’s something wrong with introverts.  I don’t trust them.  Since she was let go after the astoundingly terrible Baby Cakes, Charlotte Fullerton passed scriptwriting duties off to Merriwether Williams, who naturally added clichés and slapstick humor.  While sort of taking place in My Little Pony’s actual universe, budget limitations mean Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash are off while Pinkie Pie and Rarity just happen to be hanging around wherever.  This and the sudden immigration of valley girls to Ponyville give Putting Your Hoof Down that classic Williams feel.  While actually mostly watchable, the episode is too stereotypical and fillerish to count as anything other than minor.  And considering Williams again uses writing as her canvas for hurting the mane six (Rarity and Pinkie receive putdowns that are a little too good), Putting Your Hoof Down doesn’t rate well either.  Even if a decent lesson exists somewhere in there, these aren’t the kind of episodes My Little Pony should be wasting time on airing.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 218 - A Friend In Deed

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After Feeling Pinkie Keen and Baby Cakes, you probably thought Pinkie Pie couldn’t get any worse.  But she does.  A Friend In Deed is basically an excuse for her to supremely annoy one character under the guise of comedy.  Once a new donkey magically appears in town, Pinkie is determined to be friends with him.  She does this by embarrassing him and attempting to ruin his life.  Then Pinkie quickly finds his lost love right over there and boom, happy ending.  Amy Keating Rogers has usually been one of the better writers, but A Friend In Deed is a master class on how not to write scripts.  Her pacing is entirely off, it’s front-loaded with filler (including the teaser being from a different episode), and she continually indulges Pinkie’s worst annoying tendencies.  Rather than attempting some sort of interaction, Pinkie Pie is just loud and obnoxious.  And this is practically the entire episode.  While Rogers’ lesson was decent, she completely bungled things enough that Maud Pie had to address it again.  And not content with just destroying the mane six, Rogers has Pinkie turn it on the unfortunately named Cranky, who understandably can’t wait to get out of this series.  A Friend In Deed completely redefines the second season’s “mess”, and is absolutely unenjoyable and unwatchable throughout.  In a season full of them, there are few more disagreeable experiences.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 216 - Read It And Weep

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By likely coincidence, M.A. Larson’s worst episode was aired immediately before Cindy Morrow’s best, which produced a rather bizarro feel.  While just about every other writer humiliated Rainbow Dash in some way during season two, Morrow actually showed she had an ability to grow.  Laid up in the hospital for a few days after injuring her wing, Dash reluctantly tries and loves reading.  After dissing it earlier, she now must hide this revelation from her friends.  As Dash reads, we see a movie version of Daring Do; an adventuring archaeologist clearly modeled on Indiana Jones.  While Daring Don’t establishes these adventures are apparently real, Read It And Weep succeeds because the action takes place in Dash’s head.  Every word produces fantastic images, and Daring Do is almost certainly a projection of Dash herself.  Even though the two parallel stories don’t really concern each other, they add up to an effective (if obvious) reading PSA and an exploration of being something against your image.  Even if the Daring Do sections aren’t exactly original, they remain very entertaining and focus on what Dash can imagine from a book.  Read It And Weep isn’t perfect with characterization and might seem to rely on Daring Do at the expense of story, but it’s also surprisingly effective at accomplishing its goals.  For both entertainment and a great lesson, Morrow’s outing is undoubtedly season two’s surprise episode and a guilty pleasure very much on par with its main character.