Rating:
Holy shit, there’s another Grand Galloping Gala coming
up! And it’s today! A whole year went into planning this
important event before, but fuck it, let’s go.
Every previously seen moment of drama is crammed into one episode,
including being butthurt over invitations, fancy new dresses, a disastrous main
event, and Celestia inexplicably loving it.
But Discord wasn’t around that first time, so now he wants to go because
he’ll feel bad otherwise. While Natasha
Levinger (perhaps with certain assistance) finds some surprisingly decent
moments outside of her main character, Discord remains front and center. And just like in Three’s A Crowd, he’s
annoyingly awful. Discord doesn’t
understand Fluttershy wanting to take someone else, but then shows why by being
obnoxious and rude throughout. And he
remains the focus despite many other interesting things going on around
him. This year’s Gala is Twilight’s
first as a princess, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders will likewise be in
attendance. Maud also reappears, and she
steals the episode with only two lines in about ten seconds of screen
time. But then there’s Discord doing bad
standup comedy (straight out of Baby Cakes), although smashing a watermelon
can’t save his act or the show. For
every decent moment scattered about (Pinkie Pie shakes the camera for a dumb
reason), Levinger inflicts ten times as much pain. Oh, I could have made this episode good if I
wanted to, but I’d rather make you suffer.
Nothing about Make New Friends But Keep Discord feels right, since
almost every second is a miscalculation in some way. Clearly many other episodes were missed, but
then they weren’t because we already saw them during the first season. Fluttershy acts incredibly shallow, while her
friends don’t fare much better. Two new
characters are also horrible for different reasons. Tree Hugger is a hippie stereotype that does
everything but pass doobs, while the Smooze somewhat reprises that 1986 My Little Pony movie’s villain. His only goals are figuring out how much he
can steal and whose clothes to ruin.
Unfortunately, Discord’s mind-numbingly dreadful performance stands out most,
and there are no survivors. Make New
Friends rips off season one’s biggest arc while inexplicably making marijuana
canon. Even though the better moments
should theoretically produce a higher rating…no, just no.
Discord’s awful jokes start early, as Fluttershy pretends to
find them funny during their “Tuesday tea” (thanks, Princess Exposition). Then she mentions her retcon friend Tree
Hugger from a Breezies expedition (by god Levinger isn’t letting that episode
die), which suddenly and permanently changes Discord’s mood. He gets worse after Fluttershy admits Tree
Hugger will be her date to the (apparently rather LGBT friendly) Grand
Galloping Gala. Contorting his voice and
face into unwanted positions, Discord hurriedly leaves.
Make New Friends’s initial act depicts Discord harassing the
mane six for a ticket. This includes two
Star Trek references which don’t end
up adding much. First, he pops into
Spike’s “bed” (Picard’s version mercifully wasn’t so close) asking about
Twilight’s location. Then later he
orders “all the cakes” from Pinkie Pie, only to cancel it when Tree Hugger
appears (in Déjà Q, Q desires ten chocolate sundaes, but dismisses them upon
their arrival since he’s no longer hungry).
Between these visits, Discord discovers our favorite ponies will be at
the Gala thanks to their sisters (or “sister” in Scootaloo’s case). Despite seeming quite separate in Appleoosa’s
Most Wanted, the three now only chant annoyingly in unison. Discord can take his ears off, but we aren’t
so lucky.
After chatting with Tree Hugger, Discord retreats to his
house that exists in some sort of continuum after all. This place is a visual feast for the
animation department, but Discord himself just bitches about his situation. Somehow, a mail pony arrives and delivers Discord’s
Gala ticket. That was easy (“oh come
on!”). So the entire first act was a
waste, but Discord’s mood doesn’t improve with an invitation.
Now it’s the Gala already, and Twilight has helped plan some
parts because her pinché lazy mentor can’t be bothered doing anything
considered work. Discord’s arrival with
his date quickly ruins her perfect evening fantasy. The Smooze is a green blob of goo that eats
shiny objects and otherwise makes messes just from “walking”. Despite being greeted with blatant racism
from everyone (including Twilight), the Smooze justifies their behavior by
being nothing more than a common criminal with little intelligence.
Of course, Discord’s sole goal remains proving Fluttershy’s
new friend doesn’t bother him at all. He
does this by being obnoxious to anyone around Fluttershy (including an
impromptu comedy set), and half-heartedly stopping the Smooze’s various
rampages. One such finds Smoozey
flooding the entire dance floor, but thanks to the calming effect of weed
“positive vibes”, he “bliss[es] out” and suddenly gets better. But Discord can’t take any more of Tree
Hugger’s hippie speak and almost sends her to another dimension. Sadly, Fluttershy talks him out of it by
revealing a “simple” misunderstanding.
Discord apologizes for thoroughly ruining everyone’s evening, as does
Twilight to her lord and creator.
Surprisingly, Celestia pardons her since this display was somehow as
much fun as that one time Fluttershy angrily introduced Canterlot animals onto
the dance floor. Apparently Trollestia
only gets wing-boners from clichés and her subjects almost sustaining grievous
personal injury.
So where do I begin?
Literally every scene has problems, starting in the first moments. Fluttershy laughs at a punch line that isn’t
funny, and remembers an earlier joke which equally couldn’t be. Then Levinger starts retconning by pretending
they totally do this every week, Fluttershy has a new friend we’ve never met,
and the Breezies are still mildly important.
Clearly she’s desperately trying to hold onto concepts everyone else
realizes are terrible. Discord
apparently believed he was dating Fluttershy, and reacts like she left him for
another woman. Such rude behavior makes
little sense, and he barely apologizes for it at the end.
While I appreciate Star
Trek references (and they are appropriate given de Lancie’s history), most
viewers probably won’t notice them and their oddness isn’t beneficial. Showing up right on top of Spike is creepy in
a sexual way, and probably causes nightmares later on (disappearing thereafter
doesn’t help either). Applejack makes a
good comment about Galas not being “life changing”, but then spoils it by
spouting that “all grown up” cliché.
Considering middle school dances exist and none of the Crusaders bring
dates, she’s not quite there yet. Did I mention
they have zero lines not shouted in unison?
Rainbow Dash somehow wins her card game even though Applejack stopped
playing minutes ago.
Pinkie Pie recognizes Discord without seeing him, and breaks
the fourth wall after his order. But her
doing so has no point, and she ruins this moment by shouting “you want none of
the cakes now?!” That would be why he
left, yes, and you probably shouldn’t be so dumb to think anyone would make
such a request. We do find out Pinkie’s
mom still won’to be seen with her in public, so this is a good episode for her
all around.
Tree Hugger can’t go five seconds without “digging”
someone’s “vibes”, or performing other stereotypical activities. All of her dialogue is hippie clichés, while
we’re supposed to believe she forgets seeing Discord early on. Given her spaced out look and voice, she’s likely
super high during their first meeting and actually doesn’t remember. Not that she isn’t baked the entire episode.
After angering at Discord’s noisy arrival, Twilight continuously
flies like Dash usually does. Twilight
never expected having wings and only started flying a year or so earlier, and
now she can’t move without them?
Fluttershy “doesn’t hear” Discord after being bumped into and much
throat clearing. Was she ignoring him or
just being incredibly dense? Why does Fluttershy
repeat that “anypony as funny as you” line to Tree Hugger? Or refer to Discord as “anypony”? Can any writer actually write a good stand-up
act? Bad comedy didn’t work in Baby
Cakes, and the set is even longer here.
Did Tree Hugger really implore the Smooze to “bliss out” in a children’s
show? And Celestia actually wanted all
of this? Now Fluttershy’s constantly
flying too. AGHHHHHHHHH!
Levinger’s characterization is awful, as everyone (possibly
excepting Maud) displays their worst sides.
Fluttershy seems distant, callous, and oblivious, Tree Hugger always
looks high, the Crusaders have no individuality, the Smooze’s only personality
trait is stealing, Twilight doesn’t have a date (why is everyone’s “plus one”
same sex? Statistically, all of
Equestria probably isn’t gay). And then
there’s Discord, whose officious attitude is completely unwatchable. Levinger wastes John de Lancie’s first
starring role on My Little Pony by
having him be angry and repeat everyone else’s lines (“a scoche?”). What exactly was her point here? People often have more than one friend? Doesn’t Discord already know that having met the
mane six? So Levinger only really
accomplished making us not want the series’ best villain on screen ever again
because of one painful role and performance.
All of these questions!
Levinger obviously wasn’t expecting anyone would think when watching
Make New Friends But Keep Discord, and yet once again I must. So much of this episode just feels absolutely
wrong, whether it’s the characters, a sketchy plot, or how so many important
events are missed. Did Rarity design new
dresses for everyone? Probably, but then
why are the Crusaders’ clothes so bland?
Sorry, I’d better stop before I have a heart attack. Levinger commits too many errors in Make New
Friends for a passing grade. She shouldn’t
have returned after two awful fourth season episode, and now this happened. Whenever Discord next thinks about sending
someone to a different dimension, I know exactly who should go.
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