Rating:
Merriwether Williams’ first episode is also her worst; a
script of legendary badness that only declines over time. As would become usual, it takes place in an
alternate universe with a Rainbow Dash fan club and where disasters happen all
the time. Then Williams uses her hate to
completely embarrass Dash for the episode’s duration. I was a bit more lenient upon Mare Do Well’s
debut, considering Rainbow Dash is extremely over-loved by the fan
community. But agreeing with its
sentiment doesn’t conceal that Williams wrote a terrible episode. Mare Do Well is ridden with clichés (terrible
is Williams’ middle name), practically plotless as it swoops from one potential
catastrophe to the next, and exists solely for making fun of a main
character. We can see the lesson about
bragging early on, so Williams doesn’t even bother having Rainbow Dash write her
letter. Because like Dash, Williams
didn’t learn anything from this outing and continued making these same mistakes
throughout an inexplicable run as a staff writer. Don’t believe me? Williams actually has the audacity here to
have Applejack say Mare Do Well doesn’t brag as the mane six are all boasting
about their specific contributions. With
a completely unnecessary resurrection of Pinkie Sense (which had mercifully
been ignored up to now), The Mysterious Mare Do Well ranks as one of the
unquestionably worst My Little Pony episodes
ever to air.
Did you forget that Rainbow Dash has a gigantic fan club
that debates about which words should be used to describe her greatness? Don’t worry, it doesn’t actually exist. Williams just uses Mare Do Well’s teaser to
make fun of the show’s fans as they argue whether “stupendous” is an accurate
description and what word Rainbow Dash’s picture appears next to in the
dictionary. Naturally, Dash also throws
some platitudes out, and her poor dumb club doesn’t realize who they came from.
After this waste, Dash is interrupted while relaxing to
rescue a small filly trapped in a well.
With the club on hand to celebrate, Dash decides to make being a hero
her career. Fortunately, the amount of
near-death experiences skyrockets at just this moment in time. Someone needs saving every minute or two, and
the bestest pony is ready to help.
Unsurprisingly, Dash becomes more insufferable as her ego grows
exponentially, which her friends definitely notice.
In a completely unrelated development, Dash’s attempt to
save a falling hot air balloon rider is thwarted by a mysterious pony wearing a
mask, cape, and hat. Suddenly, Dash’s
ability to rescue anyone is completely gone, as she fails every time while
losing out to the unfortunately-named Mare Do Well. But Dash keeps trying again and again to win,
even though this pony can both use magic and fly. No matter how embarrassed Dash gets, she
refuses to give up. This includes when
such calamities dry up and she has to manufacture problems like opening a jar
and walking Granny Smith across a street.
Finally, Dash decides to unmask the Mare Do Well at a rather
stationary thank-you “parade”. After
making an unsecured and unnecessary appearance here (remember, she’s “modest
and humble”), the Mare Do Well is forced to flee into town, where she
inexplicably leads Dash on a chase that appears to feature more than one of
her. Eventually, Dash tracks down one of
the mares and is shocked (much too shocked) to reveal Pinkie Pie. Then two other mares show up and take off
their masks: Twilight and Applejack. The
Mysterious Mare Do Well was a project by the other mane six members to give Dash
one gigantic comeuppance. After not
immediately renouncing their friendship, Dash admits she might have gotten a
“bit” carried away and offers to write this week’s letter. Or she might just send in Spike’s
ghost-written one, whatever.
For unknown reasons, season two saw the writers airing their
absolute hatred for the mane six, so Mare Do Well fits with Lesson Zero and
Baby Cakes in that regard. But given
such great characters, it’s unconscionable why they would use starring roles to
embarrass and destroy instead. Rainbow
Dash might lack the well-roundedness of her companions, but she never deserved
such treatment. That Williams wasn’t
immediately canned remains beyond understanding, because Mare Do Well’s only
message is one of hatred. So much for friendship
and tolerance and everything the series is supposed to be about.
While not necessarily filler in the traditional sense,
Williams’ script consists basically of near-death experiences and clichés. More ponies almost die in this one episode
than all the others combined, and the pervasion of clichés was only recently
matched by Rainbow Rocks (“For the love of Pete”, I guess Williams will have to
“learn that the hard way”, because I “have a leg up on her” now. “Oh, brother”, “who am I kidding”? She’s “safe and sound” on the writing staff
despite having a track record that’s hardly “to die for”). Both highlight how completely out of touch
Williams is with the show’s established universe.
And really, that’s the problem with characterization
too. They’re not necessarily bad by
themselves, but none of the ponies would act this way normally. Fine, I can buy Scootaloo (who’s never
mentioned by name) starting a Rainbow Dash fan club, but would anyone else
around really care enough to join?
Including Snips and Snails?
Nobody loves Dash that much, but Williams decided to retcon that they
do. Then the other mane six members
start acting out of hatred due to jealousy.
They completely embarrass their friend, and don’t seem to have any plans
to stop. Bragging about their own
contributions is even worse, because it goes completely against the episode’s
theoretical message of being humble.
Since Williams undermines her own lesson and doesn’t even have Rainbow
Dash finish with a contrite letter, it’s doubtful she even believes it herself.
Frankly, The Mysterious Mare Do Well is in free-fall, and
don’t expect a masked stranger to save it.
From a horrid alternate universe to poor dialogue, contrivances, and no
message, Mare Do Well is only an example of My
Little Pony at its worst. Nothing of
consequence happens, and such hateful messages should be completely banned from
the series. Mare Do Well demonstrates
that Williams should not have been allowed to write for MLP in the first place, which is a sentiment that has not
dissipated over the (unbelievable) years she continued to do so. While not touching these lows again, Williams
didn’t improve much either, and it’s impossible not to see the hatred of Dragon
Quest as an extension of themes started here.
Maybe she’s been better on other shows, but Mare Do Well is a definitive
statement on why Williams is the worst writer ever employed by My Little Pony. And even if it’s not the absolute poorest
outing, The Mysterious Mare Do Well will stand as one of the grossest offenses
ever committed by a series that theoretically espouses the exact opposite of
what it showed here.
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