My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 224 - MMMystery On The Friendship Express

 

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Celestia: What the holy hell is this?

Pinkie: It’s the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness with éclairs and donuts and chocolate mousse moose.  Isn’t it marvelous?

Celestia: Why is there a disembodied moose head on top of this cake?

Pinkie: Well, it’s really simple.  You see, on the train ride over here, I just knew that some pony was going to try to eat the Cakes’ best cake because it was obviously the best dessert and was certainly going to win first prize.  So I stood guard all night, and almost caught some ponies trying to eat the cake, but I chased them away and everything was fine.

Celestia: Okay…

Pinkie: Then I fell asleep, and when I got up, I looked at the cake and it seemed fine.  But then Twilight came in and looked at the back of the cake and some pony had taken three bites out of it.  I was horrified and had to get the bottom of this.  So me and Twilight looked around for clues, and since she’s read a lot of mysteries, she kinda took over a bit.  I was certain it had to be the other bakers, since of course they knew the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness was the best dessert and sure to win, but she’s so smart that she figured out who the real culprit was.

Celestia: And who was that?

Pinkie: It was my friends.  Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity.

Celestia: I see.  Did they help make the cake?

Pinkie: Nope.

Celestia: Are they working part-time for the Cakes?

Pinkie: Uh-uh.

Celestia: So why were they coming with you to this event?

Pinkie: I have no idea!

Celestia: Of course.  Did the original cake have éclairs and donuts on it?

Pinkie: Nope.  Those came from the other bakers’ desserts.

Celestia: I’m probably going to regret asking this, but why did you combine these desserts into one cake?

Pinkie: You see, when I was trying to figure out who ate the cake, we went into a tunnel, and when we came out, all the other desserts had been eaten.  Even though that smarty-pants Twilight figured out who was responsible for eating the cake, I did some investigating of my own and found out that the other bakers had eaten each others' desserts.  So now we had a train full of half eaten desserts that we couldn’t enter into the contest, and I thought: why not just combine them?  Even though I didn’t actually bake it, this prize winning cake you’re about to eat a piece of was my idea.  You’re welcome, princess!

Celestia: Okay, I think I’m not understanding everything.  The train ride took about a day to get here, right?

Pinkie: Mm-hmm.

Celestia: So every pony had their own rooms, right?

Pinkie: Yup!

Celestia: So they kept their desserts in their own rooms, I assume?

Pinkie: Nope!  We just left them in the main car where we got on.

Celestia: So you left all these fragile desserts out in the open on a moving train where anything could happen to them and with no one guarding them, and by the time you got here, they were all destroyed?

Pinkie: I was guarding them.

Celestia: Yes, um…moving along then.  Who are all these other bakers you’re speaking of?

Pinkie: Oh!  There was this gryphon with a big long moustache; I think he was French.  And then there was Donut Joe, who I think Rarity has a crush on.  Oh, and Mulia Mild.  She’s a mule.

Celestia: Hmm.  I wasn’t aware that there were all these bakers living in Ponyville.

Pinkie: They don’t!

Celestia: Oh.  Then why were they all getting on the train at Ponyville?

Pinkie: Um, I don’t know?

Celestia: (rolls eyes) So they got all of their desserts to Ponyville unscathed, but once they got on the train, they just left the precious desserts they spent a long time working on completely alone, and thanks to your paranoia and your friends, not one of them made it to the competition intact.  Which because of your idea resulted in the horrifying monstrosity I’m currently looking at?

Pinkie: Um…yes!  Oh, I just remembered!  My friends came because I invited them.  I had to do something since they all helped me get the cake to the train.

Celestia: Oh, I see.  You asked them to help out beforehand.

Pinkie: Well, no.  They all just happened to be around while me and Big Macintosh were taking the cake to the train.

Celestia: And by you and Big Macintosh, you mean…

Pinkie: He carried the cake, and I wore a silly hat.

Celestia: Right.  So why didn’t you invite Big Macintosh along if he’s the one who did the heavy lifting?

Pinkie: Ooh, I know this one!  He’s a guy?  No wait…he’s not my friend?  Hmm, that can’t be right, I’m friends with every pony.  He’s shy?  Well, so’s Fluttershy, and she came with.  He only says two words?  He couldn’t fit on the train?  Wait, I know!  We’ve all had sex with him, and it would be awkward!

Celestia: (clears throat loudly) Such a wonderful imagination! (shakes head) So if the other bakers all brought their own desserts, why weren’t the Cakes going along?

Pinkie: They just had twins you know!  They’re so adorable, and very talented even though they’re so young.  It’s not like they cry all the time at everything I do or anything.

Celestia: Okay, well why didn’t you just babysit them while the Cakes came instead?

Pinkie: Oh, I did that once.  I really wanted to, but for some reason they asked all of my friends first.  But they all said no and I got to do it.  There was a lot of crying, and a lot of flour, but we eventually bonded, I think.  It’s not like I completely hated the experience despite all the bad things that happened, and certainly not because I almost lost their twins for a minute there.

Celestia: Alright, I think I understand now.  So your friends weren’t intended to help move the cake and were busy doing other things, and then you invited them to come with at some point even though they weren't prepared for an overnight trip.  They had no reason to come, and you probably shouldn’t have been sent either, except that the Cakes certainly don’t trust you around their children anymore.  But all of you went with anyway, and your “friends” destroyed your employer’s hard work and threatened your job because they were hungry.  And your investigation as to what happened eventually led to the desserts of three other bakers being eaten too, which forced all of you to combine your desserts into this hideous creation with a chocolate moose head inexplicably sitting on top of it.

Pinkie: Yes!

Celestia: Pinkie, I think you learned a valuable lesson today about friendship, but it had nothing to do with that letter you just sent me.  The lesson you learned is “with friends like these…”, and I suggest you remember that in the future.  Now, I know we have a lot of older viewers, but this is still a children’s show.  We really can’t leave a cake with a moose head just sitting around.  Do you realize how many nightmares you’re going to be giving all of the children watching?

Pinkie: No problem, princess.  I’m on it.

The end!

* * *

In all seriousness, dessert transportation is a very large part of baking in the dessert world.  This makes some sense since you have to ship your dessert to customers usually, but it’s pretty silly that one of the most important parts of a dessert competition is transferring it from one table to another.  Hours of work can be gone in seconds for nothing that has to do with any part in the creation of the dessert.  The Cakes certainly understood this, which is why Mr. Cake was always fainting every time it looked like the huge cake would topple to the ground.  He knew full well that one mis­step would destroy hours of work and months of planning.  So the “silly” opening scene is actually accurately presented.  Of course, the other bak­ers certainly knew this as well.  So why they decided to leave their crea­tions alone with one pony who wasn’t actually involved with making any of these desserts, and who happens to be quite capable of devouring huge cakes in one bite just on a whim, is really the true mystery.