Sunday, November 10, 2013

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 112 - Call Of The Cutie


Rating:

Despite enjoying the rule 34 as much as the next guy, I still have to admit feeling a bit weird about all of the pony hindquarters on show in Call Of The Cu­tie.  This fascination the pony culture has with tattoos continues to amaze me, and the solution to those with “blank flanks” is obvious.  Head down to the local parlor, say you’re 18, and voilà, cutie mark.  That would spare us the most frustrating yet somehow effective arc in the entire series.  Even though the Cutie Mark Crusaders knew each other in the pilot somehow, we still don’t know who they are yet up to this point, so Call Of The Cu­tie acts as an introduction to the later episodes dealing with these charac­ters.  As such, it kind of plays like a streamlined version of The Cutie Mark Chronicles, but without most of the intrigue and revelations (Rainbow Dash does relate her cutie mark story, but not in quite the same amount of detail).  Apple Bloom takes center stage since she hasn’t met her friends yet (even though she has), and she spends most of the episode being an­noyingly mad about not having her cutie mark yet.  Yes, kids usually react like this when they’re at ages when years feel like centuries, but that doesn’t make it enjoyable to watch.  Considering how much attention the Cutie Mark Crusaders receive after this episode at the expense of the mane six, it’s debata­ble how good the “influence” of Call Of The Cutie is.

Even though it would get you thrown in jail if you did it in real life, we’re greeted with ass shots of a number of young pony students (and the teacher Cheerilee) in an apparent elementary school class.  As we see, most of the ponies already have their cutie marks, but they still have to learn about them in school anyway.  This goes as well as you’d expect, as only Apple Bloom pays close attention while a certain couple of students goof off.  Cheer­ilee explains to us that the tats magically appear whenever the pony in question discovers their “special talent”.  She shows a picture of herself from the ‘80s (delightfully accurate), and somehow interpreted that her cu­tie mark of three smiling flowers meant she should go into teaching (while the agricultural industry gets closer to bankruptcy every year).

We’re also introduced to the main antagonist of the Cutie Mark saga, who, like Gilda and Trixie before her, has no redeeming features.  The upper class Diamond Tiara gloats about her cutie mark the entire episode, and plans a “cuteseañera” with her crony Silver Spoon to celebrate.  Apple Bloom and her friend Twist (the obligatory “nerdy” pony with glasses and a lisp) are invited apparently only so they can be made fun of.  Hoping to have someone to go to this party with, Apple Bloom becomes dismayed when she finds out the next day that Twist just got her cutie mark too.

Most of the episode is devoted to Apple Bloom quickly trying to get her cu­tie mark, which is also a preview of the other Cutie Mark Crusader offerings.  She naturally starts out with apples since her entire family has apple cutie marks, but one day spent trying to sell apples with her sister Applejack ends Apple Bloom’s career in that area (it does almost go that badly, as appar­ently a dirty look can get you bucketloads of free apples).  Rainbow Dash steps up to help, and it turns out she is the one responsible for the Cutie Mark Crusaders doing as many stupid activities as they can think of to try to get their cutie marks.  Even though she found her cutie mark doing something she loves, Dash advises Apple Bloom to try as many things as quickly as possible, which Apple Bloom obviously takes to heart.  She of course fails at all these activities (juggling, hang gliding, karate, kite flying, roller derby), but then Pinkie Pie comes along and suggests cupcakes.  Apple Bloom imme­diately leaves Dash alone so she can head to the bakery.

Apparently, we have this section to thank for the legendary Cupcakes fan­fic.  Pinkie Pie sings a song about one of her favorite treats, which is some­what memorable despite its brevity, but the repeated “cupcakes” refrain stuck in somebody’s head a little too much.  Call Of The Cutie certainly can’t be faulted for what happens in that story though.  It’s fortunate for Apple Bloom that Pinkie Pie will apparently eat anything (like Applejack’s ques­tionable cupcakes in Applebuck Season), since no one else could stomach the completely burned treats Apple Bloom makes (we will see in Sister­hooves Social that Sweetie Belle has the same cooking “talent”).  Twilight shows up out of nowhere (as she is often wont to do) and gets roped into try­ing to magic up a cutie mark for Apple Bloom, but this doesn’t work ei­ther.

Suddenly, it’s party time already.  Apple Bloom tries to hide herself, escape, and hide her flank with a hastily made dress, but all of this fails and she gets laughed at by the two antagonists.  Just as the whole party is about to join in the laughter, Scootaloo calls out Diamond Tiara from under a table.  While apparently both her and Sweetie Belle were equally ashamed of their blank flanks and hiding just like Apple Bloom was, they now spin it so that not having a cutie mark means you’re full of “potential”.  Twilight and Ap­plejack both agree (even though neither should probably be there), so now the whole party thinks Apple Bloom is cool.

The three new friends decide to band together, which gives birth to the most unholy alliance in My Little Pony history.  Sadly, the drama that will happen when one of them gets their cutie mark before the others will have to wait until later episodes.  Oh, and we end with a shot of Celestia reading Twi­light’s note so that she can show off her cutie mark too.  Some ponies have boring things like apples and candy canes and butterflies, but not the ruler of all things.  She has the freaking sun.  That kind of puts everyone else’s cutie marks to shame.  So why were they celebrating them again?

The idea behind cutie marks is actually one of the most important and in­teresting the show has done, but the problem with Call Of The Cutie is that it’s portrayed much more effectively in later Cutie Mark Crusaders episodes (especially The Show Stoppers and The Cutie Mark Chronicles).  Watching Apple Bloom do activities that couldn’t possibly produce a cutie mark (and the end­less whining when she fails) is even less fun than when the three do them together, and so the point at the end doesn’t really come off.  In real life, not having your “cutie mark” until later doesn’t mean you have po­tential, it means there’s something wrong with you.  If you’re not sure what you want to do with your life by the time you’re 18, it is an extreme setback that is difficult to ever completely overcome.  The earlier you get your cutie mark, the better, so Apple Bloom’s whining is actually justified. And it’s real easy for Twilight and Applejack to spout off about potential when they got their cutie marks at a young age (even though Applejack was the “last in her class” to get one, she later relates that she was younger than Apple Bloom is now).  The longer this goes on, the more likely Apple Bloom and company will be making slave wages for the rest of their lives.  Call Of The Cutie may try to spin “blank flanks” being a good thing, but society has never accepted this as the case.

Potentially, this episode could have conflicted with The Cutie Mark Chron­icles, but for once intra-episode continuity is actually preserved.  Ap­plejack’s comment about being last in her class technically happens, as she doesn’t get her cutie mark until after she returns home (which would be after all of her other friends got theirs).  Rainbow Dash did indeed get hers at a race, and since the sonic rainboom was necessary for her friends’ cu­tie marks, she was technically first.  Of course, it’s unlikely all of them were in the same class (obviously Twilight wasn’t), and that would be an aw­fully small window anyway, so those comments can’t really be consi­dered inaccurate.  After Rainbow Dash’s story though, it’s a wonder that the Cutie Mark Crusaders haven’t asked Dash to perform another rainboom in their vicin­ity just to see what would happen.

When it comes down to it though, Call Of The Cutie just doesn’t have enough substance for a passing grade.  The idea was only a setup for future episodes, while no effective points were derived from it.  Having to watch Apple Bloom do an endless string of stupid things isn’t enjoyable, the introduc­tion of another one-dimensional villain is uninteresting, and the reception of “blank flanks” is completely misrepresented.  It probably should be alright for people who need a bit more time to decide their entire futures, but it’s not in any society that’s ever existed on this planet.  Speeches from a disingenuous Twilight and Applejack just make the offense worse.  Call Of The Cutie isn’t as painful as the previous episodes, and at least some sort of point was trying to be made.  Perhaps it’s best to give the episode an “I” for incomplete, as the room for improvement Call Of The Cutie leaves is only realized later.

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