My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 211 - Hearth's Warming Eve

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Hearth’s Warming Eve isn’t really an episode of My Little Pony, which is why it’s Merriwether Williams’ best effort.  Freed from the restrictions of characters and series history, Williams indulges in stereotypes while telling a hypothetical history of Equestria’s founding.  None of it can be true since Celestia isn’t involved (while Starswirl The Bearded gets namedropped), but the story is pleasantly watchable in a way most of Williams’ episodes aren’t.  The mane six have been tapped to present a Christmas play, and all perform excellently despite no previous experience.  They are cast as the three leaders of each faction (Pegasus, earth, unicorn) and their sidekicks.  Every pony in charge plays up their character’s personality: Rarity is prissier, Pinkie Pie crazier, and Rainbow Dash bossier than usual.  The second-in-commands are more level-headed and are actually able to get along.  Williams’ fable uses some fairly obvious symbolism, which is weakened by an ending that tries to explain it away.  Clichés pop up again (but not nearly as much as in Mare Do Well), and the fight-filled real mane six scenes mean our actual ponies’ absence isn’t missed.  Despite problems galore, Williams was given a story perfectly suited to her “eccentricities”.  That doesn’t mean Hearth’s Warming Eve is canon or worth having given her a second chance for, but it’s a decent enough Christmas offering without falling too deeply into the holiday’s “traditions”.  As we saw from Williams both before and after, she could be a lot worse.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 210 - Secret Of My Excess

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Secret Of My Excess is the single greatest demonstration of that tired old adage “it’s better to give than receive”.  While not really true in theory, M.A. Larson shows in fantastic terms where a life of receiving will eventually lead.  Spike gets numerous presents for his birthday, but this awakens a dragon instinct which causes him to start hoarding.  He grows abnormally large and rampages throughout town looking for anything he can hold.  After kidnapping Rarity, a memory from earlier restores his normal size.  Granted, Larson seems to lose his way after a strong opening scene between Spike and Rarity, but his method crystallizes perfectly once this realization occurs.  There is no purpose to possessing everything, and Spike takes no joy in rounding up useless items.  But bringing happiness to Rarity’s life for just a few seconds was infinitely more rewarding.  Unusually for Larson, Secret Of My Excess is uneven and begins to meander once Spike starts growing.  He also doesn’t resolve certain plot threads (Spike’s “disease” remains unexplained, and who’s going to clean up all that mess?), but these problems are worth the great scenes.  Rarity and Spike have never been better together, and their final moments are among the series’ best.  These and the lesson are what elevate Secret Of My Excess, even if most of it feels like a trying fancy.  For a series that often pretends to reach certain morals, Larson’s message here cannot be ignored.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 209 - Sweet And Elite

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Sweet And Elite is somewhat fun and finds a good final trope aversion, even as it wallows in stereotype.  Rarity visits Canterlot for the hell of it, which gives Meghan McCarthy license to create many rich characters that don’t stand out in any way.  Her knowledge of them is clearly limited to My Fair Lady and a couple of Gilligan’s Island episodes, as these new ponies act rather stuffy while being very elitist.  The scenes focusing on Rarity fare much better, although McCarthy fails to offer any insight into the fashion world.  Concepts like networking are vaguely hinted at, although there’s a sarcastic tinge that strongly suggests McCarthy finds such “important” ponies to be complete idiots.  Unfortunately, Sweet And Elite remains a surface level episode, even though Rarity’s problem of which crowd to mingle with may become very real someday.  Exploring how simple things can still be great art is much appreciated, but again the idea is barely mentioned and not without hinting that critics are morons who only follow herd instinct.  Considering how unwatchable many season two episodes are, Sweet And Elite at least provides solid entertainment while not falling prey to fatal problems.  But it also highlights McCarthy’s problems as a writer, since she retcons characters and events that won’t be important going forward while likely having no idea what she’s talking about.  As usual, this adds up to a middle-tier offering, but Sweet And Elite doesn’t contribute anything to Rarity’s character even as it treats her with respect (a rare occurrence this season).

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 208 - The Mysterious Mare Do Well

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Merriwether Williams’ first episode is also her worst; a script of legendary badness that only declines over time.  As would become usual, it takes place in an alternate universe with a Rainbow Dash fan club and where disasters happen all the time.  Then Williams uses her hate to completely embarrass Dash for the episode’s duration.  I was a bit more lenient upon Mare Do Well’s debut, considering Rainbow Dash is extremely over-loved by the fan community.  But agreeing with its sentiment doesn’t conceal that Williams wrote a terrible episode.  Mare Do Well is ridden with clichés (terrible is Williams’ middle name), practically plotless as it swoops from one potential catastrophe to the next, and exists solely for making fun of a main character.  We can see the lesson about bragging early on, so Williams doesn’t even bother having Rainbow Dash write her letter.  Because like Dash, Williams didn’t learn anything from this outing and continued making these same mistakes throughout an inexplicable run as a staff writer.  Don’t believe me?  Williams actually has the audacity here to have Applejack say Mare Do Well doesn’t brag as the mane six are all boasting about their specific contributions.  With a completely unnecessary resurrection of Pinkie Sense (which had mercifully been ignored up to now), The Mysterious Mare Do Well ranks as one of the unquestionably worst My Little Pony episodes ever to air.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 207 - May The Best Pet Win!

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Ask yourself right now: do you care what pet Rainbow Dash has?  And more questions.  Did you realize that all of the mane six have pets, even though the most visible (Opalescence, Angel) barely qualify as consequential?  Have you forgotten that Rainbow Dash “chose” hers through a long and ultimately pointless competition?  Or that it was preceded by a song that lasted almost an entire act?  Anyone wondering why a “fun” episode like May The Best Pet Win! deserves such a low rating need only consider these queries.  Not that it doesn’t also have filler, but Best Pet is basically one long string of “who cares?” and “did that really just happen?”  Feeling left out since she’s the only one of her friends without a pet, Rainbow Dash decides to find one who’s as fast and awesome as her.  Then after doing so in a contest, she settles on the exact opposite.  Charlotte Fullerton does find some funny moments involving the butterfly, but everything else is head-shakingly bad.  And a “surprise” ending is needlessly telegraphed early on with the tortoise’s introduction, since there’s literally no other reason for him to be there.  So Fullerton’s penultimate offering manages to be confounding, unnecessary, and predictable, while also embarrassing its main character.  Let me add “how did Fullerton last long enough to make another episode” to the list.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 206 - The Cutie Pox

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I liked The Cutie Pox better when it came out, but the episode really isn’t aging well.  Apple Bloom’s sudden acquisition of many cutie marks was a fun ride, but now the plot is kind of bland.  Amusing things like the appearance of a certain trio or Twilight’s new ‘do seem somewhat dumb now, but oh well.  Amy Keating Rogers’ Cutie Mark Crusader tale is mostly harmless filler that at least never offends anyone’s eyes or ears.  Her script lacks in substance while relying a few too many times on clichés (“you ain’t seen nothing yet”), and the dialogue otherwise isn’t very crisp.  But at least the story is fun once it gets going, and provides a few decent moments even if they don’t add up to much.  Rogers also finds a good lesson, since kids never want to wait for anything and won’t listen to such advice.  The Cutie Pox finds enough good scenes to make it passable, but sadly isn’t more than a mildly enjoyable diversion.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 213 - Baby Cakes

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Like Sisterhooves Social, Baby Cakes definitely started with a good heart.  But oh god the results.  Completely scrapping any semblance of plot, Charlotte Fullerton chooses to portray a “realistic” day taking care of kids.  Whatever positives you imagine this might entail have been entirely left out in favor of dirty diapers, slapstick humor, and crying.  Oh god, the crying.  Taking a cue from her head writer, Fullerton stretches scenes through repeated dialogue or actions (see above), and even wastes a full minute and a half by having the Cakes ask around if the mane six will babysit when Pinkie Pie is right there.  Which is how it gets worse, because Pinkie is an absolute disaster.  Not one of her antics is remotely funny, and she displays a complete misunderstanding of babies in a way that four-year-olds don’t.  Then these “one-month olds” start doing things fully grown ponies can’t to inject some drama or something, which ruins the feel Fullerton was apparently going for.  Obviously raising kids is hard work, but Baby Cakes seems to make the argument that they’re not worth having at all.  Add to it Mr. Cake’s horrid genetics story, and Baby Cakes is one of the worst My Little Pony episodes ever produced.  Few outings can match how completely unwatchable it is.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 204 - Luna Eclipsed

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Luna Eclipsed is rather raw and slightly awkward, which parallels its main character in a way.  Between two huge failures, M.A. Larson offers the best Halloween episode of the series, and one of the few ever which actually tackles reasons for the holiday’s existence.  To do so, he brought back Celestia’s sister Luna, who was last seen in the pilot over a year earlier.  Criticisms abounded because her characterization stood in stark contrast to this appearance, which consisted of about a minute on screen.  Here, Luna is loud, awkward, talks funny, and has a small sarcastic streak.  She decides to arrive in Ponyville on Nightmare Night; partly to protest the holiday’s unfair portrayal of her.  Attempting to fit in, Luna scares the whole town and ends up canceling Halloween altogether.  Fortunately Twilight faced a similar problem earlier (for an episode or two, but still), and is happy to help another member of Canterlot’s royalty with her image.  Even given this partial success, it would take time for Luna to be integrated within the series, and her successive appearances show the strong but quiet loner that the initial glimpse would have suggested.  But does this mean Luna is completely out of character in her eponymous episode?  From a show that tackles introversion regularly, I can’t say that it is.  We all have moments of extroversion like Luna before retreating back inside, and they’re not exactly well-written one-man shows.  Luna might be a bit too out there, but at least Larson tried to address her being gone for a thousand years.  Language is practically impossible to understand after that time, so fortunately her speech isn’t worse.  Despite the few aspects of her character that might not age well, Luna Eclipsed is a joy that still finds time to explore issues about its subject.  Larson may not articulate his points quite correctly, but he still offers a definitive argument on why Halloween is a necessary part of culture.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 205 - Sisterhooves Social

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While theoretically possessing a good heart, Sisterhooves Social is a humungous mess from start to finish.  It moves from an assault on your viewing stamina in act one to the completely preposterous act three race, and finds nothing redeeming in between.  Cindy Morrow attempted tackling the recurring sisters’ theme, but I’m guessing she was an only child based upon what made it to air.  Sweetie Belle will never be more annoying or stupid, which rubs off on Rarity once she starts thinking the former’s actions had some sort of purpose.  This reaches such heights that Rarity then acts completely out of character (after probably suffocating) to get her worthless and trying sister back when the two still won’t live together anyways.  All for the purpose of some imaginary family bond that simply doesn’t exist here or in the real world.  Sweetie Belle’s relentlessness completely sinks Sisterhooves early on, while the subsequent events don’t make any amount of sense.  Having a brother or sister in no way means you have to let them destroy your life, but Morrow’s moral seems to conclude exactly that.  And as usual, she has characters accurately critique the episode from within.  “Geez Louise, can’t I do anything right?” No matter who that applies to in Sisterhooves Social, the answer is no, they absolutely cannot.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 223 - Ponyville Confidential

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If I don’t bust M.A. Larson for clichéd dialogue and stock plots, it’s because he weaves them into a surprisingly personal and enjoyable story where they’re barely noticed.  Not that he necessarily spent time as a gossip writer, but Ponyville Confidential demonstrates a lot of the writing experience, from writer’s block to morals to writing what you want versus what will sell.  Even more shocking is Larson finding his foil in the Cutie Mark Crusaders rather than any specific mane six member.  Apple Bloom suggests penning articles for the school paper will earn them cutie marks, but their original ideas are too boring for sensational-minded editor Diamond Tiara.  A chance encounter with those two idiots Snips and Snails sets them on the gossip path, as their successful articles mean no one in Ponyville is safe.  At first, their Foal Free Press is more popular than the real papers, but everyone’s ire causes the CMCs to rethink what they’re doing.  From all of the moral dilemmas to great characterization and a look into the extraneous aspects of being a writer, Ponyville Confidential is a strong capper to Larson’s amazing season two run.  No other writer on the staff can integrate everything into a very satisfying 22-minute episode.

My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic: Episode 203 - Lesson Zero

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Of all the bad My Little Pony outings, this is the WORST…POSSIBLE…EPISODE!!!  That sounds like a good line, so I’d better reuse it at least twice because writing 22-minute scripts is hard.  Meghan McCarthy has shaped quite a bit of Friendship Is Magic (not usually for the better), but never was so downright awful as in Lesson Zero.  Twilight neglected writing her letter to Princess Celestia this week, but filler abounds since that isn’t much of a plot.  Many phrases are repeated multiple times (“I have searched high, I have searched low.  Low and high!  High and low.”, “Yes?  Yes?  Yes?”  “I really like her mane”), scenes are dragged out either with or without such dialogue, and nothing much really happens throughout.  After wasting three and a half minutes on Twilight Sparkles’ propensity to make checklists (she’s so nerdy, it’s hilarious!), our future princess wanders around town to find out nothing is going on.  Her letter is due by sundown (apparently, like all school assignments), so she quickly goes bonkers at the prospect of being tardy.  TARRRDYYY!!!  (Yep, that gets reused too.)  What’s even worse is that McCarthy made sure Lesson Zero’s ripples were felt throughout the entire series, because she removed Twilight’s importance in corresponding with God.  Now anyone can, which means we don’t need her around much anymore.  So for a filler-filled bore whose only goal is the complete destruction of Twilight’s character, I dub Lesson Zero the WORST…POSSIBLE…EPISODE!!!  Relatively speaking.